Hey folks! Sorry about the late posting. I was in the process of relocating and didn’t have internet connection. All seems well at moment, I’m crossing my fingers hoping that nothing else goes wrong… Let’s get to it!
I was told we were super busy from 6am to 4pm. Long lines and large orders was the theme early Thanksgiving at the grocery store… until I clocked on. My shift was from 4pm to 12 midnight. I was bracing myself for a slow mundane night and for some odd reason praying for a very busy evening. We were busy alright; busy reading all the magazines at the checkstand. Us Weekly, National Enquirer, Time, and the TV Guide. If anyone needs to know anything about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ supposed fallout, sightings of green Martians drinking water from the moon, info about our crappy economy and why this decade is by far the worst ever or the weekly lineup of movies and their showtimes for those who live in Portland, please shoot me an email.
Most of the orders that came through were very small. People just coming in to pick up items like spices, eggnog, and stuffing. Nothing was over $100 it seems. My co-workers and I were ready for the rub-ins, customers telling us about their great feast or how great that catch was in the football game, but they never came. Instead we were greeted by kind people who offered us a place to go after work to join their families for Thanksgiving. Strangers, sincere people who we see almost everyday but with hardly any conversation. They cared, they were mad for us, they wanted to feed us, and they thanked us for working.
One guy came in and said, “Hey, its OK, guys! The football games suck anyhow AND you’d rather be working because you guys get paid like doctors, don’t you?” Double time and a half, that’s $37.50 an hour. Not quite like a doctor but damn close =P. As he was walking out the door, he said, “CHING! CHING! That’s the sound of your pocket getting fat!”
We were looking forward to our annual Turkey Bowling event, but my assistant manager quickly asserted his superiority by shutting it down.
Too Blank Tom: Paul, what’s this I hear that you organized some turkey bowling contest?
Me: Huh? Contest? It’s not a contest…
Too Blank Tom: Well whatever it is, its not happening.
Stupid fun police…
Me: C’mon, man! We do it every year! You can’t ruin a tradition!
Too Blank Tom: Fine! You can do it outside in the parking lot.
Me: Parking lot! We need to do it on aisles because they slide better, and there wouldn’t be gutter turkeys either!
Too Blank Tom: Just do it outside.
Me: The turkeys will rip on the concrete. We plan on eating it after.
Too Blank Tom: Eww…
- Top 5 customer questions on Thanksgiving.
- What time are you open ’til?
- Do you sell liquor?
- Can you check for <insert desired product>?
- Did you eat Thanksgiving dinner yet?
- Where’s the bathroom?
Actually, there was one heckler. A girl in here, mid 20′s wearing a Punky Brewster outfit.
Punky Brewster Clone: Sucks that you work today.
Me: …
Punky Brewster Clone: Microwaving your Thanksgiving dinner isn’t that bad.
Me: …
I didn’t feel the need to insult her. She looked like a walking rainbow, I figured that was insulting enough.
A regular customer was short 4 cents… yes, 4 cents… again.
I’m Short, Literally: Hey, I’m short 4 cents.
Me: Ummm…..
I’m Short, Literally: I’ll bring it tomorrow, I just don’t want to use this gift card.
Me: That’s what it’s for.
I’m Short, Literally: I’ll be back tomorrow, I promise.
Me: Fine, I’ll find a way to cover it.
I’m Short, Literally: Just check the floors! Bye!
Me: …
What should I care, its only 4 cents, right?
CHING! CHING!
