He’s our enforcer, deterrent, the big gun we bring to solve big problems. He’s our security guard, his name is Rami. He doesn’t carry a gun, steel baton, mace, not even a flashlight, just pure intimidation is his weapon of choice. Rami is Ukrainian and speaks understandable English but is also fluent in Russian. Even pronouncing my name is hard, he calls me “Pau” like Pow. Being a security guard at our grocery store is very, very hard. Keeping an eye out for shoplifters, chasing them out the store, and constant altercations with people in the bottleroom is an everyday occurrence for Rami.
Rami’s Highlights:
- Someone spit in his face for following them around the store.
- Been called “toy cop,” “flashlight cop,” and “rent a cop”
- Customers have shoved him for no reason.
- Projectiles have been thrown at him.
- Getting rammed with shopping carts on a daily basis.
- Witness to Sex in the Grocery Store Parking Lot.
When Rami isn’t watching shoplifters, he’s a funny guy to be around. He claims the “S” on his Sketcher brand shoe stands for security. 
All Rami ever asks for is respect and a little appreciation. But even we, his co-workers couldn’t give him that.
One would think because he is Ukrainian, he may have a name like tennis phenom, Nikolay Davydenko or boxing pro, Vitali Klitschko. Maybe Rami is short for something but for the last 3 years, we have been calling him by the wrong name. You see, Rami isn’t his real name, he just got used to us calling him that.
His real name is Dean, just plain Dean.
When asked if we can call him by his real name, Dean…
It took me 3 years to learn this name, it will take me another 3 years to learn another one. Just call me whatever you’ve been calling me.
