Walking to the grocery store in California is a big change in comparison to Portland, Oregon. The environment is already shady itself but every time I go to the grocery store I usually get haggled by questionable characters. I can easily walk away but what’s the fun in that?
Underage Skater Boys: Hey, can you buy us beer?
Me: No.
Underage Skater Boys: I’ll give you $2 dollars if you buy us a bottle?
Me: For reals? $2 dollars? Which one you want?
Underage Skater Boys: I’ll show you, you just have to buy it.
Ah, California liquor laws…
I took their money and bought them (3) Cookie and Cream Hersey’s bar, (2) 2-liter of Cherry 7-Up, a small pack of red licorice, and a bag of Lay’s Sour Cream and Onion chips. All on sale of course!
Underage Skater Boys: Dude ! What the Fu*&!.
I guess there’s scams going around. I see an older man, well dressed and knows how to talk.
Well Dressed Scamsman: Hey son, want to make a few thousand dollars?
Me: Enlighten me.
Well Dressed Scamsman: I have this investment partner that has an inside track on some stocks.
Me: So what do I do?
Well Dressed Scamsman: Give me a thousand dollars and in 3 days I’ll bring you five thousand.
Me: What can ten dollars do?
Well Dressed Scamsman: Not much but I can take that too.
Of course…
A guy is walking around with his kid and by no means he looks like a peddler but he has the peddler symptoms.
Peddling for Groceries: Say man, I need some money to feed my kid, can you spot me some change?
Me: How much you need?
Peddling for Groceries: At least 5 bucks man.
Me: I saw you get a couple bucks from a lady. What you need to buy?
Peddling for Groceries: Man, anything. I’m trying to come out with at least a cartful of groceries.
I look at his shoes, his $130 dollar shoes.
Me: You have Jordans on! Your kid has Jordans on!
Peddling for Groceries: Uhh… it’s fake man. Bootleg stuff.
Me: Can you get me some Jordans for cheap?
Peddling for Groceries: Nah, man. These are $130 bucks.
Me: I thought they were fake?
Peddling for Groceries: Man, my kid gotta eat!
Anyone has stories walking to the store? Please share!


{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I hate the damn scammers in the parking lot who ask for gas money etc.
So how much did you make with your ten dollars?
On a daily basis? That would creep me out! I’m glad you have such a good sense of humor about it and you’re quite street wise in knowing how to handle them.
Hilarious!! How do they come up with this stuff?
I can’t think of anything that happened….I do see a lot of bums with signs smoking cigs. I always wonder how do they afford to smoke???
Stopping by from Peg’s place! Thanks for the laugh.
Living outside Atlanta, you get it every day. I particularly hate the ones that accost you in your car at red lights!
So was the Well Dressed Scamsman operating a pyramid scheme where you would actually get the $5000 back? Probably not; he would have been happy to take your $1000 (or $10, as the case may be) and that would be the end of it. I wonder if he thought anyone would fall for it?
LOL, yah, people are pretty bold in CA!!
I read this last night, but got distracted to comment!
I don’t think I’ve ever walked to the grocery store before!
Wow you walk to the grocery store in SoCal!?
You’re a good man, Paul! People around here drive for everything, even if it’s down to the corner.
Amazing what some people will say and do for money! I wouldn’t trust those people-they make me uncomfortable just reading about them!
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