Working in the grocery store, we always have to watch out for shoplifters and it’s hard to keep an eye on everyone. But there are those who make our job a whole lot easier by making in obvious that we can’t help but keep an extra eye on them. If we suspect something then we would likely stop the person before they exit the door but at the same time we cannot accuse the individual without full knowledge of what was stolen.
Looks like the day is perfect for an outdoor BBQ and it’s about 96 degrees outside. Everyone is in shorts and flip flops to battle the summer climate. Except for this one tall guy who’s wearing a San Diego Chargers parka jacket.
It’s way too hot to be wearing that big jacket, he must be up to something. I tried doing my best James Bond impression by keeping an eye on him that is until I hear… “Paul! We need you to check please!” “Darn it!” I said to myself. I signal the fill-in security guard to watch the doors.
As I was scanning groceries, I looked up and the security guard was no longer by the door. “What the heck?” You really can’t rely on security guards who fill-in on Rami’s day off. Then I see the parka jacket guy go outside with nothing in his hands. “Phew,” a sign of relief that I don’t have to worry about him anymore but then he comes back in!
I quickly shut off my checkstand and immediately go back to being James Bond. He keeps pacing back and forth like he’s deciding by the meat counter. We make eye contact and turns around and walks the other way. “Paul, I think that guy stole some of my meat.” Says Brian in the meat department. That was all I needed to know.
I head towards the door to intercept but I see him walking very slowly like he’s constipated down the condiment aisle. He now has a boxy look to him and walking very stiff. Since we didn’t see him steal I thought I’d do some deterrent tactics.
Me: Hey, buddy! Find everything OK?
Meat Smuggler: Uh, yeah.
He continues to walk past me and it’s obvious he has something in both his under arms hence the boxy look.
Me: Hey, buddy! I’m not tall enough to reach that ketchup. Can you get it for me?
Meat Smuggler: Uh, Uh…
Me: I’d really appreciate it. It’s all the way up there.
He’s now sweating but then again maybe it’s the jacket!
Meat Smuggler: I have to go.
Me: [I gave him my look of desperation] Please…
He tries to reach the ketchup all while it looks as if he’s trying to keep whatever he has in his under arms intact, then…
WHAP! WHAP!
Two giant slabs on meat come falling out from the inside of his jacket! He takes off running towards the door…
Me: Hey buddy! You forgot your meat!
