I remember like it was yesterday, I was filling in for the nightcrew because one of our guys called in sick (seems like its a recurring theme in the world of retail grocery.) It was about 2:30 AM and my co-worker Matt wanted to take a cigarette break outside. I might as well join him to get a whiff of the fresh air. Do what guys do, talk about guy stuff like girls, bikes, and wrestling.
As we were heading out the doors we noticed a blue pickup truck with its engine running. Then we saw a couple loading our firewood which we put outside into their truck. “What in the hell!” Matt said angrily. I see Matt running towards the truck. I’m still in shock trying to figure out what I’m really seeing.
Matt jumps on the truck and immediately starts throwing the firewood back towards the store. The flabbergasted couple unable to realize who or what Matt was doing continued to load the truck while he was throwing the firewood off of it. “Paul you gonna stand there!?!?!?! he yelled. Still disillusioned my first instinct was to run towards Matt. As I got closer I can hear loud grunting sounds from Matt as he heaved each firewood. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I leaped onto the truck and began to mimic Matt’s roaring grunts with each throw of firewood. By this point the couple jumped off the truck and watched us as we throw back the firewood towards the store. AHHHHHHH!!! ARRGHHHHHHHH! RAHHHHHHHHH!
“You guys are like those Iraq terrorist! You’re F#&# nuts!” the lady exclaimed. With our adrenaline rushing we probably toss about 40 blocks of firewood between us when the truck starts to move. The guy floors the car in an attempt to escape. Matt and I jump off as we hear the engine desperately trying to shift into gear.
We watched the guy speed away but he forgot someone, his girl! Matt looks at her and with a straight face he said, “I guess he doesn’t love you.”
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
hey, thanks a million for coming by!! it always does my heart good to hear from a homie
my husband and i met in medford, both of our families living there still. we were in the army and retired here in kentucky…always hoping we’d get back to oregon but we haven’t made it yet 
i can tell that following you is going to be a lot of fun, so, if you don’t mind i think i’ll stick around for a while and bug ya’!
Oh PLEASE tell me you called the cops on these boneheads? YOU’RE the terriorist? Are they crazy – it was as tho’ they didn’t even have any shame they got caught STEALING – I mean – c’mon!!!
Funny story – but just ridiculous behavior.
Dear gawds I laughed so fucking hard. I guess he doesn’t love you. I once had a run in with a shoplifter at my store. Thanks for the blog inspiration.
OH my gosh!!! Did he ever come back for her? And did you guys call the police??
That’s just awesome! Any more I’m afraid to do anything like that for fear of getting shot.
Reminds me of Isaiah 5:20. “Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!”
Just about every time I read you blog, I end up laughing. Then I start to think that these things really happened. wtf?
HAHAHHA, hilarious!
I didn’t get to comment earlier, but this absolutely made my morning! People are absolutely insane. But you always handle it so appropriately.
Now that’s just messed up. I would so love to have lived that! LoL
I just started night crew nights are killin me o well