Just Can’t Say, “I Don’t Know”

by PkWynn on July 19, 2010

As grocery clerks, we are the closest thing to a directory for product knowledge, directions, or anything the customer is curious about. We will always have answer because we simply cannot say “we don’t know.” We will either find an answer or … make one up. I’m sure I have plenty of people still looking for street directions but then again maybe they were successful because they never came back. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. Sometimes I work in produce and although I just fill in for the day, I always get asked for recommendations…

Curious Customer: How sweet are these corns?

Me: Very sweet! They’re my favorite!

Curious Customer: Oh really! I’ll get a few more than! So how do you cook your corn?

Me: Uhhh… I microwave them.

Curious Customer: Really, you do?

Me: Yeah… even fry them too.

Curious Customer: You can fry corn?

Me: Uhh… yeah. Just make sure you slap lots of butter on it.

Curious Customer: I’ll definitely try that!

In the checkstand after recommending the movie Zombieland to a customer…

Curious Movie Customer: You think zombies are real?

Me: Of course! After 10 PM, they come in looking to buy more beer all while stumbling and mumbling.

Curious Movie Customer: What do you think about vampires?

Me: Sexually deprived human beings who needs more time in the tanning booth.

AHEM!

I turn around and see a mom holding her kid with the look of disapproval…

Me: [Unsure laugh] hehe… sticker?

Tagged as: don't know

  • http://www.mindofmine.co.uk Ian

    Sexually deprived human beings who needs more time in the tanning booth.

    Hilarious!

    I think its cool that you can build that rapport with you customers.

  • http://livinitupinky.blogspot.com sheri

    you’re a nut…and i have the feeling you could make any job that you worked seem more like a circus than work! i am going to stop asking the produce guy for help, though ;)

  • thatdarngirl

    It could happen…I’m tan but I have friends that don’t have sex because they are waiting till marriage..coarse they are 40 and ummm I am thinking get a tannn or something

  • http://onecrazybrunettechick.blogspot.com/ CB

    Too fucking funny!!!

    I worked at a grocery store when I was 15… But I spent most of my time making out with a senior guy in the break room!!

  • Belle

    Something that amazes me is people that ask me (the freakin’ cashier) about how to use medicines from the drug store section. A woman asked me if it was okay to use adult eardrops on her 2 month old baby! How would I know??? Call your pediatrician!! Several times, people have asked me medical advice, etc.

    Others ask me questions about how to cook certain products and when I suggest reading the box, they seem to be offended!

    I could go on and on….I need to start a blog. It might be a bit profane, however. Love your blog, Mr. Pauly~~

  • http://livinitupinky.blogspot.com sheri

    just stopped by to say hi! haven’t seen you post in a while and i’m hoping that you’re well and just enjoying the summer! take care :)

  • http://iamadick.squarespace.com mepsipax

    See….this is why I like you. I make some of the most random comments and when I worked as a convenience store clerk I definitely just answered a question without really knowing the answer….but I was just being a Dick.

  • http://thedeevolutionofman.com/ megaman

    I work in the produce department and one of the girls in the deli asked me what a papaya tasted like, I told her I couldn’t describe it, she said that I should know. So at lunch i grabbed a tuna fish sandwich and asked her what that tasted like.
    How are you supposed to describe how something tastes anyway?

    Liked your story about the girl on roller skates too, funny

  • http://www.supermarket-directory.info/?p=946 Never Step Off the Mat – Part I « Supermarket Directory

    [...] OH SH*%! I said to myself. I do have a history of giving bad directions. [...]

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