Too Fast Too Furious

by PkWynn on July 29, 2010

Ugh, life without internet sure sucks and trying to post stories on the cell phone is no bueno! Anyhow, thank you folks for still coming by and reading. A big thank you to the commenters as well! Your feedback and your stories is what keeps this going! Now onto the story…

A dirty blonde hippyish girl wearing dreadlocks and knee high pink striped socks enters the store on rollerblades. At the time we didn’t have any rules regarding bikes, skateboards or even rollerblades operating in the store. People just know you just don’t go riding your vehicle in the grocery store.

So she’s zig zagging up and down the aisle. Dodging customers and displays alike when she grabs a banana from the produce section. She already has a lot of attention to herself but by peeling the banana and eating it; she garnered more attention from the grocery clerks as well. She makes her way down the wine aisle and does the “I’m suspicious” look. Checking over her shoulder and looking around to see if anyone is paying any attention. Of course we’re paying attention, you’re on rollerblades with knee high pink striped socks!!!

Then she does the inevitable. With one bottle in each hand she races towards the automatic sliding doors…

From the checkstand, I can see my managers chasing her as she darts towards the doors, then…

SMACK!

She crashed face first into the doors! They didn’t open in time because she was going waaaay too fast!

If only she would have bladed a bit slower…

Wine Stealing Rollerblade Girl

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{ 1 comment }

Just Can’t Say, “I Don’t Know”

by PkWynn on July 19, 2010

As grocery clerks, we are the closest thing to a directory for product knowledge, directions, or anything the customer is curious about. We will always have answer because we simply cannot say “we don’t know.” We will either find an answer or … make one up. I’m sure I have plenty of people still looking for street directions but then again maybe they were successful because they never came back. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. Sometimes I work in produce and although I just fill in for the day, I always get asked for recommendations…

Curious Customer: How sweet are these corns?

Me: Very sweet! They’re my favorite!

Curious Customer: Oh really! I’ll get a few more than! So how do you cook your corn?

Me: Uhhh… I microwave them.

Curious Customer: Really, you do?

Me: Yeah… even fry them too.

Curious Customer: You can fry corn?

Me: Uhh… yeah. Just make sure you slap lots of butter on it.

Curious Customer: I’ll definitely try that!

In the checkstand after recommending the movie Zombieland to a customer…

Curious Movie Customer: You think zombies are real?

Me: Of course! After 10 PM, they come in looking to buy more beer all while stumbling and mumbling.

Curious Movie Customer: What do you think about vampires?

Me: Sexually deprived human beings who needs more time in the tanning booth.

AHEM!

I turn around and see a mom holding her kid with the look of disapproval…

Me: [Unsure laugh] hehe… sticker?

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{ 7 comments }

Five Finger Firewood

July 13, 2010

I remember like it was yesterday, I was filling in for the nightcrew because one of our guys called in sick (seems like its a recurring theme in the world of retail grocery.) It was about 2:30 AM and my co-worker Matt wanted to take a cigarette break outside. I might as well join him [...]

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Ginseng Man

July 12, 2010

When customers are frustrated they usually like to blame someone or something. It’s never their fault and it happens so often that we just have to suck it up and try to be patient as possible with the customer. We have to sympathize with the customer but sometimes you just have to tell them like [...]

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Grocery Store Healing

July 6, 2010

Tell me what you guys think of this. Feel free to comment or email me at pkwynn@mostlygrocery.com.

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A Sign from God?

July 5, 2010

Sometimes there are items that are priced incorrectly and our store policy will only honor one item at that price per day. There are actually some customers who do go scanning the grocery store shelves for incorrectly priced items just to get the cheapest price possible and many try to stock up only to find [...]

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Independence Day at the Grocery Store

July 5, 2010

I usually don’t mind working on the holidays because of the extra pay but while I’m working I envy the customers that come in who are enjoying the day off. Customers love to rub in on how much I’m missing out on the beautiful day, the barbeque, and why it sucks to be at work. [...]

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Thanks for the Comments

June 30, 2010

Shelley: Love your stories. But do you mean meat smuggler instead of meat muggler? Muggler isn’t a word. Hahaha, I thought it sounded catchy but definitely made no sense. Smuggler sounds a lot better! Thanks Shelley! True Story: Several months ago we were lamenting the fact that customers don’t listen when we cashiers speak to [...]

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Big Jacket Thief

June 28, 2010

Working in the grocery store, we always have to watch out for shoplifters and it’s hard to keep an eye on everyone. But there are those who make our job a whole lot easier by making in obvious that we can’t help but keep an extra eye on them. If we suspect something then we [...]

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Ways to Annoy your Grocery Clerk #41 – Watching the Toddler

June 23, 2010

My heart races up and down like a rollercoaster when I see a toddler standing in a grocery cart. Yes, they look cute and parents enjoy the look on the toddlers face when pushing the grocery cart while they try to do their best balancing act but when they arrive at the checkout lanes, I [...]

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